Sitting on the Tube yesterday heading home, I overheard (well I say ‘overheard’, it was more like, ‘couldn’t help but hear) a man talking into his phone.
I got on the Tube and it was standing room only. The man in question was standing too at the other end of the carriage. He was wearing big dust covered boots, obviously from a building site, yellow jacket over a big coat. He was a construction worker – you know the type!
As the carriage emptied, we both sought seats at the same time. He saw a seat and walked casually towards it but it was quickly filled up by boarding commuters. This caused the man to swear under his breath. He clearly thought that as he’d been standing he had a right to sit down. He clearly didn’t know how the Tube works. There is no etiquette of use on the Tube, it’s every person for themselves.
In the end he sat next to me, slumped in the seat with his legs so far apart I thought he was doing the splits.
Then he got out his phone, dialled a number and began speaking into it, revealing a very deep voice and extremely broad Mancunian accent.
‘I’m on that fookin funny train fing, man.’
‘You know, that fookin London train.’
‘Yeah, the fookin train that goes underground, man.’
I know. Incredible isn’t it?
I related the story to E, who gleefully suggested that Transport for London has a new slogan at last:
TRANSPORT FOR LONDON
TRAVEL ON OUR FOOKIN’ FUNNY TRAIN FINGS
Similarly, I propose one for Manchester:
TRAVEL ON OUR FOOKIN’ FUNNY TRAM FINGS
Thanks E. I’m still chuckling over that.
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